Very Pretty Indeed!

The other night me, Dallan, and Madelyn were getting ready to go to bed and for some reason we got on the subject of Stephanie. I think we were talking about a new baby and Madelyn said something about her. I said Madelyn do you want to see a picture of Stephanie? She excitedly said yes and asked if I had one, to which I replied yes, I have a lot of them. So I went to our bedroom and got some of the pictures and took them back to her. I sat down by her and started showing them to her. The first thing she said was "Mom, she is pretty". And I said yes she is and do you see what color her hair is? She said ya it looks like mine. I said that's right Madelyn your hair is the same color as Stephanie's. And then Dallan (I think he sometimes thinks talks like this hurt my feelings, which they don't) said Madelyn what color eyes do you have and she said brown just like moms and he said that is pretty neat huh? You have hair like Stephanie's and eyes like mom's. She thought that was great. She then asked if she could keep the pictures and I said you can but I don't want them to get ruined and she said well do you think we could make a book to put the pictures in? I said yes I think we can do that and so that is on our list of things to do...a book of pictures for her to keep. It was a sweet moment and a reminder to me how both of us are a part of who she is and how truly remarkable she is for that very reason. We love you Stephanie!

A moment I won't forget

DISCLAIMER: I am not sure who reads this blog and who reads my personal blog. Sometimes the stories are the same....sorry. I don't mean to be repetitive, there are just some experiences I love so much that I want to make sure I cover all my bases (so to speak)!

Did you not LOVE Elder Ballard's talk in General Conference? One of the things he said that I just loved was..."recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction". A couple of months ago on Fast Sunday both Dallan and I got up and shared our testimonies. Madelyn really wanted to go and kept asking when it was her turn. We explained that she could go up and share her testimony when she was able to do it on her own. For the last several weeks during family home evening she has practiced and today she wanted to go up. We kept asking her are you sure you want to? You more than likely heard the same counsel we did as far as allowing children to go and share their testimony during sacrament and for that reason we were hesitant. But she was relentless and finally I said okay. We made our way to the front, found a seat and waiting for our turn. She leaned over and said mom I don't see dad. I said he is right there. When she finally found him she waved and I am not talking some little discreet wave but instead raised her hand as high as she could. At that moment I thought this is not going to be good. I kept whispering in her ear are you sure you aren't scared to get up in front of all these people? Her reply...No. And then it was...Remember you have to do it all by yourself...her reply....I know mom, I don't need your help. When it was almost our turn she said mom I need you to go up there with me, I said okay but I am not going to tell you what to say, she said Mom, I don't need your help, I just need you to stand up there with me. So the last girl finished and she looked at me and said it is our turn. We walked up there and I helped her get on the little chair, I adjusted the microphone and then knelt down, so no one could see me. This is what she said...."I would like to tell my testimony. I know Jesus loves me. I know the church is true. I know President Monson is our new prophet. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen". Then she got off the stool and quietly sat down on the chair behind me until I was done. I was so proud of her. Proud that she was confident enough to stand up there in front of so many people and proud she worked hard for something she wanted to do. For me it was one of those moments Elder Ballard spoke about. On a daily basis I wonder if what I am doing is enough. Are they learning the things they need to? Do any of the things I tell them sink in? And to be honest most days I feel as though I have fallen short in my role as their mother. But today....today was a shining moment that filled my heart with joy and love for this beautiful little girl whom I get to call my daughter.

Sorry!

See what a slacker I am! I mean really where does the time go? So I thought I better write something before you give up on me! Things here are about the same...cold. I can't wait for spring. All I keep thinking is where in the world do we hide the Easter eggs? Obviously outside isn't an option, which reminds me I need to go shopping for their Easter baskets. I did find a Peter Rabbit stuffed animal that Madelyn kept asking for. She loves the Peter Cottontail books. And of course the basket has to include chocolate. Have I ever told you how much she likes chocolate? She would live on it if I let her. In that regard her and Dallan are like two peas in a pod. We are planning a trip to Arizona next month. It is my grandparent’s 60th wedding anniversary. I was on my mission when they celebrated their 50th and so I wanted to make sure I was there this time around. Has ten years really gone by? I think the older you get the faster time moves. Madelyn is so excited to go. She loves going there. Probably because of all the attention she gets. I am telling you it is ridiculous at times! From the moment we get off the plane her every wish is someone's command. She has nonstop playmates and unlimited amounts of treats and toys. I mean who wouldn't want that right? It takes me weeks to get her back into a normal state. But she loves it and so do they. Her and Jackson are the only little grandchildren and they definitely reap those benefits. We won't be staying as long as we normally do because Madelyn has her first little dance recital and has to be back for the dress rehearsal. They can't dance if they don't make that one practice. She has loved her dance class and it is amazing to me how much progress she has made since her first class. She really pays attention and tries very hard to do her little routines. It is quite cute! They are doing two numbers. One to this song called "Flip, Flop, Fly" and for that one they are wearing these yellow dance outfits. At first I thought they were hideous but after seeing and hearing the music I have to admit it is going to be really cute. The next song is the classical music to angels we have heard on high. For this one they have these adorable white dresses that have wings attached to them. They are very pretty. I will make sure and take lots of pictures and if I can ever figure out how to download my video footage I will post some actual live dancing. Let's see what else is happening....We are almost done with our adoption papers, so if you know any babies who are in need of a home I hope you will think of us. Every night Madelyn prays that I will get a baby in my tummy. I think she has forgotten about my "tummy being broken". But let me tell you she still remembers what I told her about you and Clinton. Every once in a while she will say "Mom, do you know that you are my new mom" and I will say really why is that and her reply is well remember I was in Stephanie's belly and she really loved me but she couldn't take care of me so you got to be my mom. Yes, I remember Madelyn. Well that is why you are my new mom. And then she will drop it for a while and when you are least expecting it she will bring it up again. She mostly says it to me but there have been times when she tells Dallan about how he is her new dad. The first time it happened was pretty funny. He had come home from work and I hadn't told him yet about this new insight of hers. So there we were sitting on the couch and she said Dad, I am happy you are my new dad. And he said what are you talking about Madelyn and she said you know...um mom what is his name again? His name is Clinton Madelyn. Oh yeah that's right (like she has known him for a long time or something). You know Clinton used to be my dad but now you are my new dad. He just hugged her and said I am so glad I got to be your new dad. Well there you have it that has been the last two months in a nut shell! Again, I am sorry I haven’t been very good at keeping this up. I emailed you some pictures of our girl, I hope you got them. Let me know if you didn’t okay? I hope you and the boys are doing well. We think about you often and always pray that you are safe and happy. We love you.

A Sure Sign Our Little Girl is GrowingUp

So today I was driving Madelyn to school and as usual she was talking, and talking and talking. Can I just say she loves to talk? My mom used to tell the story of how she never had to worry about falling asleep while driving as long as I was in the car, because my non-stop talking would surely keep her awake. I can COMPLETELY understand what that must have been like for her! Anyway back to the story...she was talking and asking me something that I can't recall but I disagreed with whatever it was she said. Have I also told you about how stubborn she is? Well me disagreeing with her didn't go well and suddenly there was a sad little face in the back seat. I said are you okay? She is said no. I said well what is wrong? She said you aren't being nice. I said Madelyn I am being nice, I was just trying to explain something to you. Her reply was well mom don't you know that I know everything? I said really! And she said yes mom you are silly of course I know everything! Isn't that a sure sign of a child growing up. Soon she will come to the conclusion that I know nothing about life and all the advice I render hold absolutely no weight. She is four....can you imagine 13? But on the upside look at that face? Have you ever seen a little girl with such beautiful features? Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. By the way this was taken at Halloween this year. She wanted to be a cheerleader and my brother who is a sports fanatic and graduate from Arizona State University happily obliged her with this cute little uniform. This was one of the last ones left in her size, no kidding. He had his son go to the ASU stadium to pick it up for her. Spoiled???? No way! That same brother's wife calls her the most beautiful girl in the world. Madelyn loves the both of them.

Mom, I Need A Boy....

So the other day I was at the computer when in walks Madelyn saying something about needing a boy. I asked her what she meant by needing a boy and she said you know mom a boy so I can dance with him. I said well you can dance with dad when he gets home from work. No, he is too big, I need a little boy mom. Well Madelyn I am not sure what I can do to help you with that seeing as though I don't know any "little boys" who would be willing to come over and dance with you. She exits the office only to come back and few minutes later with another idea. She said mom, I am going to marry Camden (a little friend from Washington). I said really? Well Madelyn he is a good pick. She said yes, he is the man of my dreams. At this point I was trying very hard not laugh. I said Camden is the man of your dreams? She said yes and I am going to marry him and he will make all my dreams come true. So either she has watched one too many Disney Princess movies or me and Dallan are in BIG BIG trouble!

Family Home Evening Revelations

So tonight we had family home evening and the lesson was on prayer. I read a story from the Friend and after I was finished I asked Madelyn to come and sit by me so I could tell her a story. She is really into hearing stories of when she was a baby. I started telling her when me and her dad were first married we really wanted a baby. I explained to her that more than anything I wanted to be a mom. I then told her how me and her dad prayed and prayed for a baby to come to our home and how we were so happy when Heavenly Father answered our prayers and sent us the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world. I then shared with her my testimony that I know Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. When I was done she said "Mom, can I say something now"? She is kind of bossy!! I said sure Madelyn what do you want to say and she said do you know that when I was a little little baby Heavenly Father and Jesus held me? I said is that so and she said yes, and mom they really love me. Yes, Madelyn they really do! This of course made Dallan cry, but that shouldn't suprise anyone, he cries at just about anything she says or does. But how could someone look at this picture and not know for certain that what she said tonight really did happen. She is getting so big, so fast. We love her and are thankful everyday for the miracle she is to us and to so many others.

The first day of school....

Last Tuesday was Madelyn's first day of school. I will admit I was worried about sending her because she didn't know any of the other kids or the teacher. But as soon as we got there our little miss independant sat right down, kissed me goodbye, and said I will see you later mom. This made me a little sad because I thought for sure she would be a little sad to watch me leave! Two hours later I picked up Madelyn who was all smiles. She loved school and she loved her teacher Mrs. Doggett. As we were driving home I started asking her how her day was to which she replied it was fine. I said well what letter did you learn about, her response was "I can't remember". I said well I think it was the letter "C". She said yeah the letter "C". A few moments later I said Madelyn what letter did you learn about today (I was trying to be a good mom and reinforce what she did at school), this constant questioning by me was really starting to bug her and so she politely said "Mom, I just really don't want to talk about it anymore". Okay.....conversation over! My next question was whether or not she liked her teacher Mrs. Doggett, her relpy shocked me! She said "Mom, she is nice but Mrs. Doggett is fat". I have no idea where she learned that because we don't use that word in that context. I said Madelyn we don't call people fat, it will hurt their feelings. She said but mom Mrs. Doggett is a really fat teacher. Again, I said Madelyn we don't say that! She said well then what do we say mom? Hmmmmm, well Madelyn we say Mrs. Doggett is a very nice teacher, okay? I only got silence from the backseat, so I said Madelyn do you understand we don't call people fat? Her reply...."Mom, I don't really want to talk about that anymore". Conversation over.....again. I know at least part of the conversation sunk in because today when she was talking to her grandma on the phone my mom asked Madelyn how she liked her teacher. She said she is nice grandma but we don't call Mrs. Doggett fat because that will hurt her feelings. Let us hope she remembers that the next time she sees her teacher!